Diary
by was-p.s.y.r.k
Summary: There is always more than what meets the eye. But how will you see through someone who has hidden behind a mask? Maybe by shattering it through shattering yours.. R&R pls.
1. Prologue

Standard disclaimers and notes: Whatever I do I will never own RK, all of the chars and stuff belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki, et al. If you know me IRL (in real life), go away! :p  
  


**..::Prologue::..**

  
  
Summer. The heat was unbearable, and not even a slight breeze could be felt. All around everything was still. The plants seemed to be crying out for water, even the small animals wanted nothing more than rest. Who would want to be out on a day such as this anyway?   
  
"Why me?" Megumi asked herself rhetorically. Sighing, she continued to walk towards Sano's house. Dr. Genzai asked her to go see him, as usual, he didn't show up for the scheduled check-up of his much battered hand and body.   
  
"And he had to live in the outskirts of town." She said exhaustedly, frantically waving her fan up and down to relieve herself of the heat.   
  
She was thankful when she saw his house not far from where she was standing. She was already tired of walking. At least she can take a little break while checking on the chicken head.  
  
***  
Sano was half asleep on the floor when he heard a light knock on his door. Not bothering to put his gi back on, he went to see whom it was. "I hope it's not another stupid drunk guy who wants to challenge me. I'm in no mood to fight." he mumbled as he opened the door.  
  
"It's you." he said matter-of-factly._ Great, I'm in no mood for a verbal battle either._  
  
"Well, good afternoon to you too. Aren't you going to let me in?" Megumi said mockingly.  
  
"_Che._ Whatever." Sano muttered under his breath, but at the same time moving out of the way.  
  
Upon entering, she immediately opened her bag and brought out everything she would need.  
  
"Now, why didn't you go to Dr. Genzai liked he asked you last week?" Megumi asked as she signaled Sano to sit on a chair.  
  
"It was too hot."   
  
"So, you noticed that too." She said, raising an eyebrow.   
  
"Che." he replied, not even looking at her. But really, Sano was a bit guilty, realizing Megumi had to walk all the way from the clinic. He knew how far his house was from the town.  
  
She started unwrapping his old bandages. She washed his hand and applied a sort of cream to it before wrapping it again with new bandages.  
  
She then cut the ones covering his body. She started applying the same cream to it. As she rubbed the green mixture on his abdomen she, as usual, started to scold him. "You didn't even clean your wounds or replace your bandages!" she said, pointing to the dirty pile of dressing on the floor.  
  
She reminded him, again, to stop fighting and to take a bath at least once a day. She continued as she rewrapped him in bandages. She had to put her arms around him to place the bandages properly. Her face would get so close to his that he'd have to turn away lest his face becomes redder than a ripe tomato.  
  
Since his house only had two small windows, it was very hot inside. Sano's ears were already burning and their position was making him more uncomfortable by the minute. The weather wasn't helping either. He **had** to do something before he does something he would regret later on.   
  
***  
Megumi was reprimanding him about his habits, when Sano suddenly yelled at her.  
  
"Why don't you mind you own business!" he said angrily.   
She was so startled, but she would show no sign of it. "Fine." she said, tying one last knot.  
  
"If that's the way you want it!" she almost screamed at him as she stormed out of the house.  
  
***  
Sano was as surprised as she was. He didn't mean to yell at her. It just happened. He was trying to think, but all her scolding was distracting him. He got so annoyed that he wasn't able to stop himself.  
  
"Baka." he said hitting himself lightly on the head. He chuckled as he realized that she finished treating him first before storming out.  
  
As he picked up his gi, he saw Megumi's medicine bag lying on the floor. "She must've forgotten 'bout it." he said to himself._ Guess I'll have to return it, for all I know, fox lady wouldn't think of coming back here for a while._   
  
He decided he would return it later that afternoon, when the sun wasn't as hot. He also thought of getting some bandages first. That way, he wouldn't have to go back to the clinic for a while either. As he fumbled through her bag, under all the medicine, he found a small black book inside.  
  
Curious, he opened it and started to read what's written inside. He didn't have to read past the first few words to realize what it was.   
  
_Her diary..._  
  
He knew he was invading her privacy. But the temptation was too much... he continued on reading.  
  
~~  
Kindly review. A few words would be greatly appreciated.  
Will probably get revised if you think it sucks. Lol. :D  
  
More notes: Why do I always make a prologue? Hmm.. 


	2. Chapter 1

**..::Chapter 1::..**

  
  
_Today is my birthday.  
  
Kaoru was nice enough to treat us all to a wonderful dinner at the Akabeko. This is the first birthday that I celebrate with my new family. The first time that I actually celebrate it in years. I know I should be ecstatic, everyone is treating me so well. I feel like I've been accepted again, at last. Like I never committed any of the things I did. Things that I will never stop regretting.   
  
I know I owe them a lot, so I at least pretended to be happy. But the gratitude I feel is not enough for me to forget the pain I feel inside.  
  
Cause on days like this, beautiful memories flood my mind. Memories that will always remain as nothing more but mere memories. The fact that I can never see or feel them again drowns my whole being.  
  
My real family.   
  
Otoo-san..   
  
Okaa-san..   
  
Oni-chan..   
  
if only you knew how much I miss you.. how much I need you.. and how much it hurts for me to be alone.  
  
I know I shouldn't be like this, you taught me to be strong and to be proud of who I am. But sometimes I just need someone who I can lean on, someone who I know would always be there. And I know Ken-san and the others are doing what they can to fill the abyss the loss of you has created in my heart. I appreciate that. I really do. Everything is not perfect but it's more than what I asked for in my prayers for every night that I stayed in that monster's house. There's only one thing. One person, who I still don't know where I stand in his life.  
  
Sanosuke, what will it take for me to be your friend?_  
  
He didn't read any further. In that one entry he found out more than what he wanted to. His curiosity died quickly, replaced by other more powerful emotions. He somehow felt her sadness and regret. And even the longing he too felt for his real family was magnified.  
  
But the last words were the ones that left a deep pang of guilt in Sano's heart. He knew he wouldn't be able to face her anytime soon. He decided to return everything tomorrow.  
  
"Maybe it won't be as hot." He reasoned to himself.  
  
He recalled every single word she wrote as he haphazardly returned the diary in her bag. Sighing he went back to his futon. He knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.  
  
_If only she knew.._  
  
~~~  
  
A/N: thanks to those who reviewed. Hmm.. sorry bout the grammar errors, sometimes I miss them, don't worry they'll always be minimal :) 


	3. Chapter 2

**..::Chapter 2::..**

  
  
Afternoons always brought the most number of patients to the clinic. Doctor Genzai was out on another trip so Megumi was handling everyone all by herself. Even though there wasn't as many people as usual, it was very hard work to try to attend to everyone AND baby-sit two young girls.   
  
Megumi has just finished treating a young boy. His wounds weren't serious, just small scratches, but his wailing was giving her a terrible migraine. She didn't know how she was able to control herself and not run out of the clinic door screaming. Even her usual passive smile was demanding a lot more effort to keep itself on her lips.  
  
She was about to see to an old lady when she heard a very familiar and very loud voice call out her name.  
  
_Oh no.._  
  
She ignored it, convincing herself it was a hallucination brought by the heat.  
But the "hallucination" called out to her again, this time louder.  
  
"Oi! Kitsune-onna, didn't ya hear me?"  
  
She faced him with a very exasperated sigh. "What do you want?"   
_Did he forget what he did to me already!_  
  
But instead of answering he placed something in her hands. "You left it at my house the last time you.. uhm.. visited."  
  
"Oh, I was looking for this. Thank you." She said in a very neutral tone before turning her back on him.   
  
"Wait!" he said gently grabbing one of her arms.  
  
"I uhm.." he whispered something as he scratched his head.  
  
"What?" she said, her brows creasing.   
  
"I apologized for yelling at you the other day." He said softly, fixing his eyes on the ground like there was money on the floor.  
  
She smiled inwardly.  
Surpised that he actually came all the way to the clinic just to apologize.  
She never could've imagined that prideful chicken would say sorry first.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry too." She said before adding "I knew you'd come to your senses." with one of her trademark Ohohoho laughs. He smiled before turning to leave.   
  
"Wait! while you're here, you might as well make yourself useful."  
She asked him to bring Ayame and Suzume over to the dojo.  
  
He started a little friendly fight before finally conceding. He didn't really mind doing an errand for her, he just wanted to make sure they were on "speaking" terms again.  
  
Before he left, Megumi called out to him. He went walked back to the clinic with the girls sitting on his shoulders.   
  
"Did you.. well, happen to read any of the books that was in my bag?" she asked trying not to sound like she was accusing him.  
  
"No. Why do you ask?" he answered her calmly.  
  
"Some of the things were out of place..so I" she wasn't sure how she was gonna explain it.  
  
"I got some bandages, hope you don't mind." He didn't like to lie but he can't tell her 'yah I read your diary, hope it's okay'  
  
"Sou ka. Don't worry about the bandages. And thank you again for taking the girls." She said with a polite bow. The last thing she wanted was to blame him for something he may not have done. He did come to apologize and he was also doing her a favor. She just hoped he was telling the truth.  
  
"Ja ne." he said with a wave of his hand as he walked away. He was a bit guilty but he knew he had no choice.  
  
~~~  
  
A/N: Okay, this will be a bit longer than I planned. Gomen. Btw, everybody can understand the Jap terms, ayt? If not tell me bout it. Thanks again for reading ^^ 


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: I can write a ten page essay on why this fic is half a year late..lol. But I'm just gonna give the top 3 reasons: I was very very busy, writer's block and lastly I wasn't sure how I wanted my story to end. Anyway, I'll try to keep the fic on track and hopefully when this is finished, you'll understand the summary. I've also decided to cut down on the drama ;p  
  
Anyway here it is, the much delayed chapter 3.  
  


**...::Chapter 3::..**

  
  
Megumi hugged herself as a cold breeze blew past her. Still shivering a little, she tucked a few stray strands behind her ear and straightened her kimono. Summer had passed, though it was anything but fleeting. Weeks dragged on before the first leaves changed colors and dropped to the now moist earth.   
  
She can't really say w/c season she detested more, it was a tough choice between scorching heat and freezing cold. But she decide she disliked summer more, perhaps because there was something worse than autumn. And despite the cold atmosphere, this season had a sort of warmth to it. There was something very inviting about the yellow, brown and orange hues.  
  
She smiled to herself as she saw some kids play with the piles of leaves on the ground. Well, at least until the man who was raking the leaves chased them away. This had made her laugh softly.   
  
She continued her walk towards the Kamiya dojo. Yahiko had caught a cold and she was asked to bring him some medicine. Kaoru also invited her to discuss their plans for the upcoming festival. There were so many festivals in Japan and even just in their district, the celebrations almost seemed monotonous to her. Kaoru on the other hand celebrates each one with an equal amount of enthusiasm.   
  
She sighed, personally she wouldn't bother to come to such occasions but she wouldn't want to dampen the others' high spirits especially Kaoru's.   
  
As she entered the dojo, Kenshin came to greet her.   
  
"Good morning Ken-san" Megumi gave him a polite bow.  
"Good morning, Megumi-dono", Kenshin smiled as he accompanied the lady doctor inside.  
"I'm here to take a look at Yahiko." she said to him.  
"Ah yes, I'll accompany you to his room, Kaoru-dono is there as well." he said, still wearing his smile.  
"I see, domo." she gave him a soft smile.  
  
***  
  
"Kaoru-dono, Megumi-dono is here." Kenshin called out as he opened the shoji.  
"Finally, I'm getting sick of seeing busu's face all day." Yahiko said in a mocking tone of disgust, his voice a little raspy.  
That hit a nerve.  
"Why you ungrateful little.." Kaoru was already looking for something to hit Yahiko with. Lucky for him Kenshin was there.  
"Maa, maa Kaoru-dono, you know he's sick." Kenshin said trying to calm Kaoru down.  
Yahiko stuck his tongue out to her, making Kaoru angrier.  
  
Megumi just stood there amused by their antics and secretly wanting something like that. Not the chaos of course, but the sense of real belongingness and closeness that seemed to be emitted whenever they were together. Not wanting to contemplate further on something that would only put her loneliness in the spotlight again, she cleared her throat.  
  
"Ano, gomen na Megumi-san." Kaoru said finally realizing how childish she must have acted.  
"Busu.." Yahiko whispered, snickering.  
"I'll pretend I didn't here that." Kaoru said, throwing daggers in Yahiko's direction.  
  
***  
  
It was pretty quiet after that, Megumi got through examining Yahiko, concluding he had nothing more than a cold and a little cough, and prescribing him medicine, without much of an argument between the two.   
  
"Some rest will do him good." and with that she finished her list of doctor's orders she was giving Kaoru and Kenshin.  
"Hai, Megumi-dono. Arigato." Kenshin said bowing.  
"It's nothing Ken-san." she said returning his bow.  
  
***  
  
Passing by Kaoru's room, hearing the women's laughter and a bit of their conversation, Kenshin wondered if all women were born vain. Besides, it had been hours since Kaoru invited Megumi to her room to help her pick the "right' kimono.  
  
"What's the point?" he said to himself.   
  
_Sessha will like whatever she picks.._   
  
Realizing what he just said, he flashed a bright red and scurried away, praying that no one heard him.  
  
***  
  
"Oh my, it's almost dinner time." Kaoru blurted out as she saw the sky now filled with shades of orange, yellow and pink.  
  
Megumi gave a soft laugh, they were through picking kimonos and were just talking about Kenshin when Kaoru changed the subject to supper.   
  
She had stopped flirting with the rurouni a long time ago, and respected what they so obviously felt for the each other. She knows how they feel, he knows that she knows and she knows that she knows but she still can't get either of them to open up or just talk about it.  
  
Well, she can't blame them. It's something that is not easy and **that** she knows very well.  
  
"I should help Kenshin prepare, by the way you should stay for dinner." Kaoru said hurriedly standing up.  
  
"Then, it's only polite for me to help." Megumi said also getting to her feet.  
  
"NO!" the younger woman exclaimed.  
  
"I mean you shouldn't tire yourself further, I know how it is in the clinic." Kaoru continued as she accompanied (more of dragged) the doctor to the other room.  
  
"Well, thank you then." Megumi said after sitting in her usual place in the table.  
  
"Ah, don't mention it." And with that the tanuki was gone.  
  
***  
  
"She was really trying to avoid it this time." Megumi said to herself.  
  
"Talking to yourself again fox?"   
  
Megumi glared at the man who now sat across from her.  
  
"What are you doing here rooster? Oh, how can I forget, your free loading self is always here when there's a free meal."   
  
"I didn't see you pay and you're here for dinner as well." Sano retorted.  
  
"At least I'm not here **everyday**!"   
  
"Che." He said, giving up. He can never win over his fox.  
  
_His fox?!_  
  
What on earth is he thinking? He slapped his hand on his forehead and gave himself a mental kick.   
  
"Hurting yourself again tori-atama?" she said raising an eyebrow.  
  
He just grimaced.  
  
Megumi laughed, savoring yet another victory over the rooster.  
  
"Che." Sano just cursed again.  
  
***  
  
During dinner, the topic circled mostly on the festival, but only because Kaoru kept talking about it.  
  
"So Sano, are you going?" Kaoru asked.  
  
Sano replied while stuffing his mouth.   
  
"What?"   
  
"I said, I'm not sure."   
  
"Not sure?!? You promised me last time that you'd come."  
  
"I did?" Sano said, playing with Kaoru.  
  
"Sano no baka! If you don't come, I swear you'll never eat at this dojo again." Kaoru replied angrily.  
  
"Not eating your cooking isn't much of a loss..." he was going to annoy her some more but he was cut of by a rice bowl that landed square in his face.  
  
"Fine! Fine! No need to be violent Jou-chan." Sano said, raising his hands in surrender.  
  
"That's better! Oh yeah, you should pick up Megumi-san on the way. We'll just meet at the festival." Kaoru said.  
  
Sano nearly spit out his ohagi.  
  
"WHAT?? Why should I do that?"   
  
"You know the clinic closes late and it's not safe for her to walk around the city alone at night." Kenshin said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Hmph."   
  
Tonight was like a typical gambling night for Sano: he had no luck; be it with a dice or be it with arguments.  
  
He just let out a heavy sigh.  
  
***  
  
more A/N: okay the festival is up next ^_^v If I'm lucky, that will be the last chapter. I _might_ put in a little KxK just for fun.  
  
Oh yeah, guys check out my new SxM site. The address is in my profile. Thankies :)  
  



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